d’Month

Wokay here I hit one month of joblessness

And it has been a real weirdo period of time. The at most priority thing on the list has been killing time. And I have to admit I failed in that aspect real bad . My days have been all the same for the past one month, a bit of change in between if at all, otherwise it’s been all the same. The same boring life for a month, damn I need a change . Change in what way I don’t know actually, I have been killing time some way or the other, watching movies (it consumed a hell lot of my time, cant even recollect the amount of movies I saw. Most of which actually I have seen many times), the new found love for Twitter (a.k.a Micro Blogging, guess just now I got time to explore it), trying to sleep (yes am still not able to sleep properly, and the amount of mosquitoes are really not helpful), smoking (yes indeed I have been smoking like crazy, I have nothing else to do, all day long its a pleasing friend. It has some how become a part of me, for a person like me, yeah I would call smokes ma friend), guess that’s it I did all day, eating as usual was not happening, and now limited to dinner :p, oh yeah towards the end I filled ma iPhone with applications (kinda), how can I miss Facebook games , then the Mumbai blasts kept me busy looking for info, basically did a lot of stuff online, kind off EXPLORING THE WEB!

So what actually changed during this course of time? Well I don’t know if I know, am confused as ever. But somethings have changed in and around me. Don’t know if I can bring them up, cos I don’t know how to explain. But basically I feel am becoming more self centered, more possessive, more worried, and that kinda shit. I don’t know actually whats happening, I have kinda lost touch with the outside world. More people getting mad at me, I know somewhere people are getting me wrong completely, hope I could change that, hope is all I have, and none of faith cos faith is something that’s non existing :p. Basically everything around me seems blurred, everything there but nothing clear, the very confused stage. I think I have forgot how to smile, and that’s what the worst part that has happened to me Actually nah I can’t explain what has been happening to me, the weirdness at it’s best :p. I am liking to be alone more, cos am falling in love with the darkness, which has just me around, and am loving it, loving that feeling. The feeling which has evolved to such a level now that I don’t pick up ma phone and bug anyone, I don’t even care to reply to msgs. World is getting better I guess. At least better from the good riddance of me )).

Woho now I gotta share one huge list, the huge list of movies I saw. Some of them real sad. Damn the sad part is the movie collection is almost over so I guess now I really gotta find a job :p

40 Year Old Virgin
A Love Song for Bobby
A Scanner Darkly
Analyze That
Analyze This
Be Cool
Before Sunise
Before Sunset
Beverly Hills Cops (1,2,3)
Bill
Black Cat
Blue Crush
Capote
Catch Me If You Can
Cinderella Man
C Kkompany
Cocktail
Corpse Bride
Definitely, Maybe
Dodgeball
Donnie Brasco
Dostana
Dumb and Dumber
Equilibrium
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas
Final Solution
First Sunday
Fracture
Gone in 60 Seconds
Good Will Hunting
Hancock
Harold and Kumar
Get Shorty
Knight Rider
Kung Fu Panda
Lady chaterly
Lethal Weapon-The Complete Collection
Little Children
Little Miss Sunshine
Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Lucky Number Slevin
Man of the year
Match Point
Madambi
Miami Vice
MinnaminniKoottam
Munich
Mystic River
Of Love and Shadows
Persepolis
Philadelphia
Pulp Fiction
Quantum of Solace
Reservoir Dogs
Rounders
School For Scoundrels
Seabiscuit
Serendipity
Shawshank Redemption
Sicko
Singh Is Kinng
Snatch
Starsky & Hutch
Stranger Than Fiction
Street Kings
Superbad
Superman Doomsday
Taken
The Bank Job
The Darjeeling Limited
The Fast and the Furious-Tokyo Drift
The Hoax
The Hole
The Jason Bourne Movie Collection
The Usual Suspects
Thomas Crown Affair
Thursday
Transporter Collection
Twenty 20
V For Vendetta
Zodiac
Across The Universe
City Of Angels
Fast Times At Ridgemont High
Forrest Gump
Goldeneye
Good Fellas
National Treasure Book Of Secrets
The Departed
Water
We Own The Night

Now the list does not end, I just can’t remember names right now, everything is so so so blurred, blah if I linked all the above mentioned movies to IMDB, then one can imagine how jobless I am :p. Seriously I didn’t feel bored :0) well time for another smoke, guess post that I will hit the publish button

Something came intoma mind! I no longer can remember what I wante to add! phew anyways!

–
¡ʍouʞ ʇouuɐɔ uosɐǝɹ ʇɐɥʇ suosɐǝɹ sʇı sɐɥ ʇɹɐǝɥ ǝɥʇ˙˙˙ןıssoɟ

Enzo’s words and ma life!… :p

I have just started to read the book “Ultimate History of Ferrari” by
Brian Laban. The book is actually very griping and fascinat’n. Thanks
aMaDa’ for such a wonderfull book :p

What made me take the phone is actually, few words written by the
great Enzo Ferrari himself.

“I came to the conclusion that to spend a lifetime with one company is
a mistake for anyone who wants to learn. To do that, one has to move
around, and to do other things.”

(Enzo wrote these words with respect to his split with Alfa Corse, the
Alfa’s newly revamped racing team)

What caught ma attraction to these words? I don’t actually know. Might
be the fact that am quiting yet again. Like bubble said, she doesn’t
know anyone who has jumped so many times. Well may be I have not found
the right place to learn or I have not found the right thing to learn,
what ever it is…. am still hunting …hunting for the right
decision! Hunting till life calls quits! :p

But will I get the the same luck like the ‘knights of old, the black
racing horse, the Cavallino Rampante’ bought Enzo? I doubt, but the
hunts on, till I fight ma knight of old, am not sure on what I should
be doing as of now! I guess I have to still find the hidden talent
which attracts me the most..as of now everything attracts me :p poor
little pUpPy!

fOsSil…the heart has it’s reasons that reason cannot know!!!

Blah blah!

Whenever I think that past should not torture my present' it refuses
to leave me' whenever I try not to think of anything that turns me
sad… others remind me of it unknowingly' it's not that I don't think
of it, but when others remind me, it hurts more' no one is to blame'
no one is to be cursed other than me n me' it's high time for me to
change to a bad me I guess' the selfish or egoist as anyone would like
to term it! Not cos of anything specific, just that am too tired, I
have given up hope on ma self'! Not the hope of living or fighting or
all other #%^+. But the hope of being a nice person! I can feel the
change happening inside me' I feel am loosing control over maself'

I can't explain the change' I don't know if others notice it' I don't
know if I should give up so soon' I don't know a thing' I just feel
the change, for good or bad, I don't know! I don't care either! I
don't wanna see the finer details, I don't wanna see the big picture,
I don't wanna know where all this is heading' AM AFRAID of MASELF! I
really am'

blah blah blah'

fOssil…the heart has it's reasons that reason cannot know!!!