The Four Walls

Where ever I turn, It’s just me…
Me looking at maself…
There is just lot of chaotic system out there…
I may not be alone, I don’t see anything else…
Like those vast open oceans, or the dark sky…

It’s the cool breeze surrounding me…
Making me numb, numb towards the world…
Towards everyone out there…
Towards every feeling out there…
Above all numb towards maself
Here I shout…
Hoping the breeze would carry ma waves…
Hoping the ocean would churn out a pearl of tears..
Hoping the dark sky would shed some light…

Hoping nothing changes…
Hoping, I don’t loose the hope
Hoping to hope away into ma very own world…

Every door seems to be shut hard…
Every knocks gone waste…
Every knock giving way for new hope…
The sight of the golden key…
Hidden some where deep inside…

Hidden deep inside me…
Hope I could get a peep..
Hope I could get a better look at maself…
Hope I could get a better look at everyone around me…

Hope is not worth the hope or is it?
The four walls have so much in it…
When does puppy get to see?
Four walls full of meanings…
Four walls full of @#$%…
Four walls of insanity..
Four walls of me n me alone…
–
¡ʍouʞ ʇouuɐɔ uosɐǝɹ ʇɐɥʇ suosɐǝɹ sʇı sɐɥ ʇɹɐǝɥ ǝɥʇ˙˙˙ןıssoɟ

Blah blah!

Whenever I think that past should not torture my present' it refuses
to leave me' whenever I try not to think of anything that turns me
sad… others remind me of it unknowingly' it's not that I don't think
of it, but when others remind me, it hurts more' no one is to blame'
no one is to be cursed other than me n me' it's high time for me to
change to a bad me I guess' the selfish or egoist as anyone would like
to term it! Not cos of anything specific, just that am too tired, I
have given up hope on ma self'! Not the hope of living or fighting or
all other #%^+. But the hope of being a nice person! I can feel the
change happening inside me' I feel am loosing control over maself'

I can't explain the change' I don't know if others notice it' I don't
know if I should give up so soon' I don't know a thing' I just feel
the change, for good or bad, I don't know! I don't care either! I
don't wanna see the finer details, I don't wanna see the big picture,
I don't wanna know where all this is heading' AM AFRAID of MASELF! I
really am'

blah blah blah'

fOssil…the heart has it's reasons that reason cannot know!!!